Make your day!

"People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing ― that's why we recommend it daily." ― Zig Ziglar

I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.

Mitch Hedberg

My mother always used to say: The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana.

Rose (Betty White)

When life gives you lemons make orange juice and leave the world wondering how you did it!

Mitch Griego

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

Albert Einstein

There is one word that describes people that don’t like me: Irrelevant.

Unknown

You now realize that orange juice is actually yellow, not orange.

Unknown

Never follow anyone else’s path. Unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path.

Ellen DeGeneres

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

Steven Wright

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

Elbert Hubbard

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.

Unknown

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Unknown